If Kemi Adeosun had had a beard… By Abimbola Lagunju

Kemi Adeosun was axed.

She lost her job because she presented a fake NYSC certificate. She had worked with this certificate as Commissioner of Finance in Ogun State for four years and for three years as the Federal Minister of Finance before someone spilled the beans. Who spilled the beans? Probably one of those who got the certificate for her or one among those who investigated her prior to the appointment. Or maybe some opposition member or one of her own wolves. It does not really matter who did it. It was done, not as an act of probity or patriotism, but either as an act of vengeance or a devious scheme depending on which side of the political spectrum leaked the information.

According to the books, she broke the law. They induced her to break their law so they could get back at her. Her sin is that she did not serve her fatherland after the completion of her university education when she was a bona-fide foreign citizen! Born in 1967 in London, she returned to Nigeria in 2002 at age 34 or 35 years as a British citizen. She worked for some 9 years in Lagos in the private sector until 2011 when she was made the Ogun State Commissioner for Finance. She served her fatherland for four years as a commissioner and for three years as a Federal Minister. Is there a higher calling than that? Service is Service!

It is surprising that many, including her own employers and their party took up arms against this woman. Suddenly, Nigeria transformed overnight into a “paradise of probity”. Everyone in the Nigerian political system became a saint. They became hysterical in their call for her head. It all happened in this same country; this Nigeria where video evidence of an economic crime is qualified as an optical illusion. This country, where important people are slapped on the wrists by their peers for outright stealing of public funds. This “paradise of probity” where many senators, governors, civil servants and many in position of responsibility have cases of mind-boggling corruption hanging on their necks. It is here in our paradise that fugitives from laws of foreign countries find heavenly bliss. It is in Saint Nigeria that the word “Loot” has been normalized to the extent that it has lost its criminal undertone. It has become a fashion to be accused of “looting”. It is this same country, with its deficient system and warped probity that threw more than one stone at “Sinner” Kemi Adeosun. They “killed” her for their own sin of omission and commission.

These “saints” know their way in the labyrinth of their dark caves – they hardly ever get caught, even if they have cut keys. They know how not to get caught. They know how to wriggle out of the most damning cases of crime against our nation. Theirs is not service to the nation. It is self-service. And when some of them really get caught, the courts merely shave off their beards and leave their heads. They soon return to circulation like old currency notes. Kemi Adeosun, like many other hapless Nigerians don’t have beards, they have heads. Having a head is not enough to survive in Nigeria.

She’s gone back to Britain.

We have wasted another brain. There are many youths born of Nigerian parents in diaspora who are smart and can contribute to our nation’s development. After reading what the romanticised country of the birth of their parents did to Kemi Adeosun, I bet they will steer clear of this country. We that need all the brains are the ones wasting them; giving them away to other countries with brain abundance. And we complain of underdevelopment!

Maybe it’s not over yet. There are many unanswered questions. Whose idea was it that she got the certificate to secure appointment? Who procured the certificate for her? How did the certificate escape scrutiny of the authorities? We will only have answers to these questions after the 2019 elections when it will be her turn to spill the beans in her Memoir. And who knows, she may decide to let the cat out of the bag from the safety of her London home just before the elections. Then it will be a check-mate. The game is over when the king gets checkmated. I hope the others will have the courage to resign too when their masks are pulled off. Beard or not.